I need an advice please. 

Where do broken hearts go?

I met someone online last February without any hopes of developing any romantic feelings. We both didn't have any profile photos in our dating accounts, yet we caught ourselves getting somewhat attracted or falling for each other everytime we talk for hours... or so I thought. I eventually shared some of my photos as a way of showing him that I was sincere with my friendship... he did the same after my constant prodding.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months of talking/chatting. We've shared a lot of our views and dreams in life that we're kinda like bf/gf already (without the title of course). He's torpe and I'm pretty old-fashioned/conservative in a lot of ways though he's more of the teasing type of guy. The last conversation we had was back in July 7. I asked him if it's okay for us to video chat or if he could send me a video instead even with a face mask on. He quipped, "You've already seen my photos, those should be enough." I responded with a few questions: "Don't you wanna meet me? Do you have plans of meeting me soon?" He answered, "We don't know when this pandemic will be over. We might meet in the future, who knows?". I was disappointed and sad to be honest, but I truly understand where he's coming from... that he's just being careful and he's doing his part not to be part of the numbers. (Btw, he's from Manila and I'm from the south area). I kept mum for a while because I was ruminating on a lot of things. I just could not understand why it's so hard for him to meet me if I was willing to visit him personally. I just wanted to be cordial and genuine too. He sent me a good night sticker then. I wasn't able to respond that night since it's already late and my hands were full with a lot of errands and work, so I replied a few days later. He didn't reply to my messages and chats. He never answered my calls, but I've seen him online on the dating platform where we met. Lest I forget, he suggested before that it's best if I'd just delete my account since I was getting nasty messages from men. I took it as his way of showing concern, so I also took the liberty of telling him that he should also do the same thing. He said, he'd delete it once he's already in a formal, committed relationship.

I was kinda hurt because that's not what I was expecting to hear from him. He said he's not talking to other women other than me because he felt it's wrong to talk to different girls all at the same time...and he knew from the start that I had the same stance when it comes to potential suitors/matches. I don't like the idea of talking to different guys. That's not my thing since time immemorial. It's hard to be flatly ignored by someone when there are other guys that I can just entertain, who are so much better than him...but then again, I don't really care much about looks. All I want is a God-fearing man with a good head on his shoulder, plus good morals. Is that too much to ask for? I have a few questions that I need some enlightenment please to wit:

1. What could be the reason/s why he ghosted me?
2. Should I text/call him again? I don't chase people, let alone men out of dignity and self-worth, but I'm willing to go that route to make things clear once and for all.
3. Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements?


Thank you kindly for your advice.

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Comments

Marco

by Marco on September 17, 2020 3:28 am

He sent picture but doesn't want to videocall? I think he's not the one on the pictures. And after you ask for a videocall he started ghosting you. RED FLAGS. Sorry but I think he only wants sex chat and phone sex with you.

cinnabon

by cinnabon on September 7, 2020 12:28 am

hi ms Heartbroken, first of all it's nice knowing that you are not one of those who looks at pics first. It's the character and chemistry that comes first. It's really hard to guess why he ghosted you. But common ones from what I have heard also from friends were that they got bored already, so look for another one, or they just had a sudden change of heart, or they were not comfortable with what you want. Reasons like that. Do not ever chase him, you are right with keeping your self worth. Like I always tell my friends, if you are in this kind if relationship...let him go if he ghosted..it's no use asking for a reason..the fact he ghosted means he does not value your feelings. A simple effort to tell you hi sorry but this needs to end because...shows a lot, but ghosting, tells all. So don't stress it out thinking of a reason. There was no commitment on both parties about a label to what you have so just let it go and move on. I may not grasp wholy what you are feeling right now but, take it one day at a time. It hurts less as each day passes by. Eat ice cream 😊 Sorry that last part was an honest advice. Ice cream makes you feel better. Southie here also. Remember, self worth and....have some ice cream. 😊😊😊

Tenderbobs

by Tenderbobs on September 5, 2020 4:46 am

Hi. My gut feel says he's not single (though i might be wrong) thus the ghosting. If there was an intention to escalate your relationship after months of talking then meeting you should be a concern. The excuse of pandemic for me is BS. Im also not sure why he'd oppose video call unless he's hiding something right.
2. Should you call/txt him again? No for me. If you're having doubts at this early stage then theres no need to pursue further. The guy should at least give you security and peace of mind.